[GJM] Fw: [globalnetnews-summary] A deficit of intelligence, insanity in surplus

[mary rose]

Everyone seemed to enjoy The Mogambo Guru last time, so I
thought I would try another post.  One member, Deki Fox
wrote to tell me she "laughed outloud" and thanked me for
sending it.

So, maybe laughing with Mogambo is good medicine for all of us
as we get a good look at how absurdly ridiculous some of us are.
What pops into mind is Forest Gump's "Stupid is as stupid does."
Too bad there aren't more Forest Gumps around.

mary rose



----- Original Message ----- 
From: "GlobalCirclenet" <webmaster at globalcircle.net>
To: <globalnetnews-summary at lists.riseup.net>
Sent: Friday, May 16, 2008 7:21 AM
Subject: [globalnetnews-summary] A deficit of intelligence, insanity in 
surplus



http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Global_Economy/JE16Dj01.html


 THE MOGAMBO GURU
A deficit of intelligence, insanity in surplus
The swing in US trade figures in March from a monthly surplus of US$63 
billion to a deficit of $58 billion, a negative turn of $121 billion, and 
the stock market goes UP? Investors think this is good news? They are 
insane!

A deficit of intelligence, insanity in surplus
By The Mogambo Guru

The trade deficit came in at only US$58 billion for March, which I have 
scheduled as Prosecution Exhibit # 7,327 in the upcoming Mogambo Court Of 
Awesome Revenge (MCOAR), wherein I will easily show that Americans have now 
eaten, drunk, breathed and injected so many pesticides, hormones, 
antibiotics, fertilizers, plastics, industrial by-products and toxic 
substances of one kind or another that the total volume of the 
mind-altering, poisonous, cancer-causing crap inside people is obviously 
producing stupidity and mental illness of Biblical proportions.

Unfortunately, as soon as I think about that, I realize that all that 
polluting garbage is but an insignificant jot of nothingness when
compared to the eye-popping, Sheer Freaking Tonnage (SFT) of mind-altering 
prescription drugs and mind-altering alcoholic beverages being consumed, 
too, and especially when combined with the massive consumption of various 
illegal mind-and-mood-altering drugs, too.

Then again, now I that I think of the economic insanity of the corrupt 
Federal Reserve and the whole constellations of insanity as exhibited by 
Congress, the electorate, the school system, and the media, it sure answers 
a lot of questions!

To even suppose that a country under the influence of so many mind-altering 
substances could make a rational decision about anything makes me laugh and 
laugh, but not that good kind of laugh where somebody told you a funny joke, 
and since you and your barfly trash buddies are already pretty sloshed, you 
laugh too long and too loud, and then you repeat the punch line a few times 
and comically slur the words in doing so, laughing some more each time, and 
then somebody buys another round of drinks and life is good.

No, this was the other kind of laugh, the ugly kind where I demonstrate 
Mogambo Utter Contempt (MUC) at such imbecility, but without the optional 
message-enhancement of throwing stinky, dirty diapers at the crowd of rude, 
stupid people who are shouting for me to shut up and quit ruining their 
stupid outdoor wedding, or their stupid outdoor birthday party or disturbing 
their Sitting Around Looking Stupid party or something, I dunno.

But the reason for my vicious MUC is that this $58 billion trade deficit for 
March was interpreted as, unbelievably, GOOD news, since it was down from 
February's deficit of a negative $61 billion! Hahahaha! Good news! Hahaha!

I plan to try this on my wife if I ever lose my mind and decide to go home 
to face her and the kids while sober: "Well, I came home roaring drunk every 
night last month, but last Thursday, I can home sober! That one time! 
Therefore, this is good news! Rejoice, ya nasty old bag! Rejoice, I tells 
ya, and then shut up!"

If you decide that you are an adult and you can withstand childish Mogambo 
Utter Contempt (MUC), listening to me make rude noises and watching me 
shaking my butt at you to indicate maximum disrespect and disdain, then let 
me slip into "adult mode", too, and (after straightening up by combing my 
hair with my fingers and making sure that my zipper was up) I note in my 
most grown-up voice that at this exact time last year, in the merry, merry 
month of May, 2007, a mere 12 months ago, we had a freaking trade SURPLUS of 
$63 billion! Now it's a negative $58 billion!

So the total swing from a monthly surplus of $63 to a deficit of $58 billion 
has been a staggering $121 billion! Wowser! You can probably tell by the way 
my eyes spin comically in my head that this is a Big Freaking Change (BFC), 
and it scares the hell out of me.

If you cannot hear alarms alerting you to the extreme danger of such a 
deteriorating economic condition, then you need an expensive Mogambo 
Economic Detection System (MEDS) right away, which admittedly does little 
more than make a big racket to drown out the sounds of wolves howling in the 
distance, which are coming to eat you and your family alive, mostly by 
consuming the thing that would keep you and your family alive; the buying 
power of your money.

Like for instance, in your retirement portfolio. As to that, I turn to the 
"Indexes' P/Es & Yields" table in Barron's, which showed that the Dow Jones 
Industrial Average lost another huge chunk of earnings last week, taking the 
total earning for the 30 stocks in the index down to $148.27, which was down 
from $185.64 last week, and which was down from a relatively astounding 
$756.27 in earnings a year ago! But the stock market did not go down!

This means that with the index closing at 12,745.88 last Friday, the 
price-to-earnings (P/E) ratio of the DJIA went to a staggering 85.97! 
Hahahaha! People are still buying those stocks at the most absurd price in 
stock market history! Hahahaha!

The fact that the DJIA did not drop by three-quarters into the gutter where 
it burned with an acrid flame is Prosecution Exhibit # 4,328 in a separate 
case in the Mogambo Court Of Awesome Revenge (MCOAR), the one where I sue 
the hell out of everybody connected with the Federal Reserve, the Congress 
(except for Ron Paul) and the Supreme Court for being stupid, stupid, 
stupid, and including as co-defendants the "investing professional" idiots 
who bought these stupid stocks and their sickly earnings to drove the price 
up so high that it produced a P/E ratio of 85.97! Hahahaha! This is actually 
beyond stupid! Buying an index of stocks with a P/E of 85? Hahahaha! This 
is, is, is . I am at a loss for words!

But I can still laugh the laugh of Mogambo Utter Contempt (MUC), and I do! 
Hahahahahaha!

Richard Daughty is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group, 
serving the financial and medical communities, and the editor of The Mogambo 
Guru economic newsletter - an avocational exercise to heap disrespect on 
those who desperately deserve it.